Leaving a marriage that was fraught with strife is a challenging undertaking. It can be made worse in many cases, one of which occurs when you’re divorcing a narcissist. This is a person who has no sense of empathy and who always views themselves as the victim. No matter what happens, the situation isn’t their fault in their eyes.
Trying to navigate through a divorce with a narcissist can be painful and frustrating. You can expect them to make nasty accusations, many of which are likely to be untrue. They aren’t going to try to work with you to negotiate the terms of the split. Several points may help as you deal with this situation, so be sure to review them all so you can draw on the information as you need it during the process.
Narcissists are self-serving
Never expect that the narcissist with think of anything other than themselves. They aren’t worried about what is equitable in property division or what’s best for the kids in child custody. A narcissistic person is only concerned with doing what they think is best for them, even if it is a solution that doesn’t make sense to anyone else. They play their mind games so much that they believe the lies they tell, which makes them even more difficult to deal with.
Any damage to you is a win
A person who is narcissistic sees everyone who isn’t doing their bidding as an enemy. During the divorce, you become the target. They see any damage they do to you as a victory. Often, they will push what should be a simple divorce toward a drawn-out hearing since they know this will eat away at your time and money. They only want to see you suffer, and they are willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Long-term drama is a goal
Even after the court signs the divorce papers, you’ll probably still remain in a legal battle with a narcissist. They will take anything to court just to make your life more miserable. This can include small things that most other co-parents could work through. For example, they may file a complaint if you’re a few minutes late picking up or dropping off your children, or if you sign the kids up for activities without consulting them.
Ultimately, you have to be proactive if you’re going through a divorce with a narcissistic ex. Work closely with your attorney and set realistic boundaries for everything so you can work toward your goal of ending the toxic marriage.