Every divorce is different. Some couples separate because they simply grow apart. Other marriages end as a result of cheating or other problems that may breed hostility. When your split stems from conflict, it can be difficult to navigate the situation and proceed with the divorce. To make this time of transition less stressful, you should look for ways to mitigate any contention that may emerge.
This is not always easy, and it is particularly challenging if your ex is the source of the hostility. Still, if you want to separate from your spouse without enduring unnecessary disharmony, consider the following three tips for minimizing the conflict in your relationship during a divorce.
1. Consider your behavior
The first step to minimizing contention is taking a step back to look at your own behavior. It is not uncommon for both spouses in a divorce to feel like victims, and this can sometimes lead to anger and lashing out. If your ex has hurt you in some way, you may be resistant to the realization that you are also contributing to the conflict of a separation. Consider your own behavior before expecting your ex to change his or hers.
2. Accept some conflict
It is unrealistic to expect that there will be no conflict in a divorce. Separation is messy, and there will inevitably be moments of discord between you and your ex. It is important to understand this and accept such moments as par for the course. When the discord escalates to angry outbursts or open hostility, you should be concerned.
3. Take time to listen
According to CreditDonkey, we spend about 55 percent of our day listening. It might be easy to tune out your ex when you are in the midst of a divorce, but disregarding what he or she has to say will only fan the flames of conflict. Do your best to listen whenever possible and communicate honestly when the opportunity presents itself.