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How can I deal with my ex’s new spouse when we disagree?

| Jan 18, 2019 | Child Custody |

It’s a common concern that divorced couples with kids face. Spouses plagued with a poor ability to communicate with one other split up. Soon after their divorces are finalized, they get involved in other relationships and get married. Soon thereafter, you’re not just dealing with your ex anymore, but their new partner as well. You may be wondering how to best navigate this whole dynamic.

Moms and dads often check out when it comes to having serious conversations about transferring the kids, medical concerns and other issues. They often delegate the responsibility for having discussions regarding these serious matters to their new partners instead. This can make things difficult if you and your ex’s new spouse have different perceptions about how to raise your kids.

One example of how this can become a big issue is if you share differing views on medical treatment. If you are very pro-doctor and your husband’s new wife isn’t, then she may give you an earful about seeking out alternative medical care or attempt to sway your ex into not allowing your child to receive certain treatments. She may not take your child to the doctor or give them medication if he entrusts her to handle it.

Perhaps the best way for dealing with potentially negative situations like this is for you and your ex to start off on the same page when negotiating a settlement in your divorce. It’s important to remember that you two are the ones who set the rules. Any stepparents are merely supposed to enforce the ones that exist.

If you feel that your ex’s new partner is attempting to go against what you and your former spouse have agreed to, then you should arrange to meet with them to discuss your concerns. You should do this in a neutral, public place in Fort Myers.

You should come prepared to concisely present the problem, to listen to their perspective and to offer solutions that are focused on your child’s best interests if they don’t have any.

Children are our most precious resource. Any parenting plan that you and your ex come up with should be appropriate for their age and stage of development. If you and your ex are having difficulty agreeing on or sticking to an existing plan, then an attorney can help you negotiate or litigate modifications to it.

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