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How to choose a divorce mediator

On Behalf of | Dec 18, 2018 | Uncategorized |

At the start of your marriage, virtually nothing seemed likely to tear you and your spouse apart. As with many couples in the Fort Meyers area, though, the two of you became incompatible over time. Unlike some other divorcing spouses, however, you are neither bitter nor angry. 

If you have no ill will for your soon-to-be ex, you may want to proceed with a collaborative divorce. That approach makes sense for amicable spouses, as there are many advantages to avoiding combative divorce proceedings. The success of your collaborative divorce, however, may depend on the quality of the mediator you choose to help you through it. Generally, effective divorce mediators share the following four characteristics. 

1. Knowledge 

While essentially all mediators have a certain foundational knowledge, not all have the experience to successfully mediate a divorce case. Moreover, even mediators who regularly handle divorce matters may not have relevant experience to deal with your situation. As such, when looking for a mediator, you must think about your specific needs. For example, if you must work out child custody or divide complex financial holdings, you should look for a mediator who has experience with these matters. 

2. Fairness 

Successful mediations are usually fair mediations. When searching for a mediator for your divorce, you must try to find a neutral one. Also, be sure your mediator has a commitment to reaching a fair resolution. If a potential mediator refuses to respect both your interests and your spouse’s concerns, he or she may not be a good fit. 

3. Collaboration 

Mediation should be a collaborative process. That is, you and your spouse will both likely have to make sacrifices to settle your divorce. You may also have questions you need to have answered. Great mediators help you understanding confusing processes and work toward a collaborative solution. 

4. Compassion 

Even if you and your spouse pledge to pursue an amicable dissolution of your marriage, you may have a wide range of emotions. Therefore, when interviewing potential mediators, you must look for one who has some empathy for your feelings. 

Divorces can be both heartbreaking and stressful. Fortunately, you may not have to dig in your heels for a protracted battle in divorce court. With a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse work together to reach an acceptable agreement. By choosing the right mediator, you increase your chances of dissolving your marriage in a productive way. 


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